Friday, October 31, 2014

Enough with the sexy everything costumes!

I've written you a rant about costumes like Sexy Taco, and---no kidding---Sexy Jellyfish, and how Playboy, of all media, is making me realize just how ridiculous this sexification of everything has become. 

The post is on my new, and bestest, blog:

Here's a teaser:

It’s easy to get pissed off about the sexy cop costume for little girls. You know the one? It’s full-on pedophile gear with a short and sassy skirt, fingerless gloves, and handcuffs. Nothing says “respectable female police officer” like an eight-year-old wearing something Christian Grey would buy for Anastasia. Even better? Party City’s site lists this as a “Toddler Girls Cop Costume.” Whoops, just threw up in my mouth.

But that costume has nothing on the more fetishistic sexy garb. As wrong, and sex crime–adjacent as the little girl dressed like a two-bit stripper is, what else would we expect from an industry that churns out the Sexy Taco? Oh, I see what you did there, “taco” is Mexican street food that you put in your mouth, just like a “taco” is also slang for female genitalia that you put in your mouth. Pass the sexy salsa!

Monday, August 11, 2014

Back-to-school preparedness, this is not a drill, plus a Boogie Wipes #giveaway

Recently someone asked me, "Are you ready for school?" I replied, "Define ready."

Am I ready for the bus to come and take all four of my kids to school, leaving me in a calm, silent, empty home from which to work, menu plan, and generally not have my brains scrambled by a million requests to see friends, eat snacks, and watch shows? 

Yes, yes I am. 

Are they ready for school?

They have stocked backpacks and new shoes. New clothes? We're working on it. 

But here's the rub, I always forget something. I don't think this would change if I had one kid or the four I do have. It's impossible to manage the back-to-school requirements without forgetting something, because someone is always adding something.

Got the school checklist? Great. BUT ADD SOMETHING because your kid's teacher wants each child to bring in a dozen purple rubber bands on the first day. 

Got the gym shoes that will sit in the locker for a year? Great. Now buy NEW BALLET SHOES because the dance classes that start at the same time as the school year require white, not pink.

Whatever you got, no matter how perpared you are, someone's going to add to the list or you'll find that you were working off the wrong list all along. 

You're in good company. While your sprout heads off to the first day of school lunch with no money in his lunch account, his friend will show up without updated immunization forms. It's all good, parents, we are screwing up together. 

Remember that when you wake up at 3:14 am on the first day of school in a flop sweat because you just remembered you forgot to buy your little scholars 3 packs of wide-ruled loose-leaf.  

It's time to head back to school, and I'm teaming up with Boogie Wipes to offer an awesome Back-to-School Giveaway for kids and moms!
  Back-to-School giveaway from Boogie Wipes. Three winners will win a backpack and mommy clutch - full of school supplies, gift cards and Boogie Wipes. EndsAugust 22. Enter now! 
 Three lucky winners will receive a backpack stocked with school supplies (and Boogie Wipes) and a Mommy Clutch - full of everything moms needs (including gift cards!)

How to Enter

From following Boogie Wipes on social media to instagramming a picture of your favorite Boogie Wipes products, there are dozens of ways to enter - and a few ways to enter every single day.
  Back-to-School giveaway from Boogie Wipes. Three winners will win a backpack and mommy clutch - full of school supplies, gift cards and Boogie Wipes. Ends August 22. Enter now! 

Complete the form below to get started. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Looking for Great Back-to-School Ideas?

Visit the Boogie Wipes blog for six back-to-school ideas for parents, plus a coupon to save on your favorite Boogie Wipes products.
 Great back to school ideas for parents. Must read! 

Good luck! Giveaway is live Tuesday, August 5, 2014 until midnight on August 22, 2014. US and Canada residents only (excluding Quebec). Three winners will be randomly chosen and notified via email. NinjaMomBlog received no compensation for sponsoring this event, and is not responsible for the delivery of the prize. Prize delivery is the sole responsibility of Boogie Wipes.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Lisa Newlin and Bert and Ernie, a Character Assassination Carousel Post

Supercalifragilistic, it's expialidocious! It's time to ride the Character Assassination Carousel! If you're new to the Carousel here are the Cliffs Notes. Each month a participating assassin will roast a beloved children's book. Click on the pretty pony above and get full the scoop. Anyone 36" or taller who has a blog can ride this ride.

Today's assassin is:

Lisa at

Lisa is inspired by Bert and Ernie to explore her metaphoric attic. What's it a metaphor for? Rubber duckie ball gags, if I had to guess. 

Here's a teaser:

Look, I don't care what Bert and Ernie do in their attic. They are in their forties, they know about safe words.


Previous Assassin: Erin at The Social Butterfly Mom

Next Assassin: YOU? Email me!


Buy I Just Want to Be Alone, and the sister book, I Just Want to Pee Alone.
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