Twelve Days of Haiku #GIVEAWAY winners and a wrap-up

There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either." 

Robert Graves (1895-1985)

Had Robert Graves entered my Twelve Days of Haiku Giveaway instead of being dead, he'd know that there are 12 prizes of poetry, in the form of Peyton Price's "Suburban Haiku Christmas Special." Those prizes cost money; therefore, there is money in poetry. There is also Robert Graves in a grave, and a "grave" in Robert Graves. And that's how poetry works, but not logic. 

And now the 12 haiku artists taking home the Kindle version of Peyton Price's snort-and-sigh-worthy Christmas collection of haiku, as chosen by Ms. Price herself.

Congratulations to:

Leanne Shirtliffe, Ironic Mom
What I want to know:
Are the drummers clothed or nude?
And good with their hands?

Kim, Let Me Start By Saying
Oh those three French hens
All recently "plucked"
They look like French whores to me

Robin, Subtracting Additives
What's with all the birds?
I don't run a petting zoo
Perfume would suffice.

Charity
12 drummers drumming
or twin babies screaming, wah
both give me headaches

Elona
A pear tree is here
What's a partridge anyway?
This is a weird gift.

Oh! there is a note!
This is only the first gift.
It’s from my true love!

Now two turtle doves
They don't look very scaly
But they are so cute!

What's with the french hens?
They don’t look French to me yet.
I’ll just fry them up…

Four loud calling birds?
I asked him for a cell phone.
These won't do at all!

Yes! Five golden rings!
Now I can work with this one.
just need some gemstones...

Six geese a-laying
All are squawking in my yard
Those eggs are NOT gold

Seven swans swimming
Time for animal control.
I hate all these birds!

Eight maids a-milking
I do not even have cows!
They cannot stay here.

Nine ladies dancing
Their clothes are questionable
What the? Oh! Don’t look!

Ten Lords a-leaping
Why on earth are they leaping?
I am dumping him.

Eleven pipers.
I cannot stand all this noise!
Restraining order.

Twelve drummers drumming
My head pounds like the drum beat
I’m changing address.

These gifts were not good.
It’s definitely over
He’s NOT my true love.

Kelly
Maids leap, drummers dance,
Lords with gold rings call ladies
For a chance: true love.

Tammy
Keep your messy "things".....
Birds, pipers, ladies and lords
Just bring me the rings

Robyn, Hollow Tree Ventures
Can't wean this baby
She thinks I have the boobs of
Eight maids a-milking.

Noraruthgale
Ten Lords a Leaping
my credit card is weeping
for spoiled rotten kids

Amanda, Werdyab
There's four calling birds
Calling me during Ellen?
Just text me instead.

Mod Mom Beyond Indiedom 
Five Golds and rings, Oy!
You'd think they'd have a dreidel
Not so much; putzes 

According to Mags 
Driving through the snow
Two "calling birds" in the back
Please spike my Egg Nog

A huge thank you to all of you who participated!

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Earlier last/this week . . .

• Last week the boys at Point Counter-Point Point Point rode the Character Assassination Carousel.
• On Wednesday I linked up with other humor bloggers to host a Holiday Edition of Finding the Funny. 

Elsewhere on the internet . . .

• I embarrassed myself in the seasonal aisle of my local grocer, all in the name of fitness, with Mom's New Stage on Bon Bon Break. 

• I can make origami with human ears, still, I remain un-pinnable according to this post on Hollow Tree Ventures.   

• Erin Donovan continues to win at Twitter celebrity burn according to this New York Time article (see her Tweet in the comments).

• I'm continuing to impart wisdom in the form of Murphy's Mom's Laws on NickMom.

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You can click to vote for me.

(I'd rather have cash.)

All I need is your love (CASH).