Friday, January 11, 2013

Children's clothing: hidden danger or cover for nakedness?

A Public Service Announcement from Ninja Mom Blog  
Timeline—Fort Wayne, IN, Jan. 10, 2013

Parents, take note of a dangerous trend in children’s clothing. This new terror arrives in the wake of the dangers that were unearthed when young Mary Kate nearly lost her tongue to the number one severer of tongues, vacuum-powered metal water bottles.

(That's ridiculous of course, because how much could you possible vacuum with a water bottle? You'd be emptying it every few minutes. Sometimes adding technology is not an improvement.) 

Now grave news has surfaced about the hidden danger of children’s apparel. Not since parents were urged to discontinue the use of scarves on young children because they pose a strangulation hazard, in addition to being the second most misplaced winter accessory (mittens, obviously, are the first), have parents faced such insidious clothing-based danger.


Children who walk with their hands in their pockets are face planting all over the country in alarmingly high numbersof which I have evidence of only one incident. Children are tripping while walking with their hands trapped in their pockets and are rendered helpless to break their fall except with their faces.

These innocents are victims of such retailers as Target, Wal-Mart, Gap Kids, Baby Gap, Gymboree, Janie and Jack, The Children’s Place, Kohl’s, Hanna Anderson, H&M Kids, Old Navy, Mini Boden, and that friend with triplets who gives you all of her hand-me-downs. Retailers have not made themselves available for comment, largely because they have not been contacted about this alarming trend, which is a sure sign of their culpability.

Other pocket dangers include: children discovering and ingesting old candy, the illusion that a child’s hands have magically disappeared, sweaty palms, wear on pocket seams, warm hands, and lint under their fingernails.

Earlier this week . . . 
Elsewhere on the internet . . .
  • A rash of deep and meaningful observations were made by me on NickMom, as Murphy's Mom's Laws. 


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