Friday, January 18, 2013

Lies and the lying moms who lie them

Babies are jerks. 

There's been a lot of lip service paid to the topic of managing babies' jerkiness. There are dissertations on swaddling, soothing, and calming our tiniest humans. Veteran moms tell new moms the tips and tricks that worked for them. New moms take notes from parenting books, laminate them, and hang them on the nursery door in the hopes that they've stumbled upon the formula for success. 

The lies stop here. Babies are just jerks. There's only one rule for the first year of their life. SURVIVE. Okay, two rules. Survive and don't drop them. I'm thinking, yes, maybe three rules. Survive, don't drop them, and don't piss them off. 

Earlier this week . . . 
Elsewhere on the internet . . .


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