Babies are jerks.
There's been a lot of lip service paid to the topic of managing babies' jerkiness. There are dissertations on swaddling, soothing, and calming our tiniest humans. Veteran moms tell new moms the tips and tricks that worked for them. New moms take notes from parenting books, laminate them, and hang them on the nursery door in the hopes that they've stumbled upon the formula for success.
The lies stop here. Babies are just jerks. There's only one rule for the first year of their life. SURVIVE. Okay, two rules. Survive and don't drop them. I'm thinking, yes, maybe three rules. Survive, don't drop them, and don't piss them off.
Earlier this week . . .
- Girl Scout cookies make one happy. And fat. In other words, you become Santa Claus.
- I rip the cover off the twins cover-up on Mommy Shorts. (Fleece, it turns out.)
Elsewhere on the internet . . .
- I couldn't stop making up my own Thin Mints meme on my Facebook page.
- Una LaMarche is better than Joan Rivers when it comes to fashion critiques and red carpet take-downs. (Don't miss part II!)
- Learn more than you want to about Anna from My Life and Kids' "elephant" on Scary Mommy.
- Kids have questions for their pediactrician. Well, one. "Shots?!" It's me, on NickMom.
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